Shallow me

Parliments.

kathryncota — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 10:06:26 +0000

I am sitting here half awake. I should just call it a night. If I tried to read anything nothing would happen. I just watched about 4 hours of the Poker World Series. I really do no like the guy who ended up winning. Jamie Gold, is his name. He is really an asshole. Smug. I know people who look like him. It really doesn’t help his case, but it was good tv even though I should’ve been reading or at least cleaning. Now, I’ll have to cram for the exam that I have to take on Wednesday. No real e-mail. Nothing is going on so I should just go to sleep. Ooooo. I have cigarettes in my purse.

I don’t smoke. Only when I am bad. Or feel like looking bad. I wish Mac would just go to sleep already. Parliments here I come.

My Plan A is being revamped.

kathryncota — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 02:17:09 +0000

Of course I dropped Plan A as soon as I clicked on the “Publish” button. I think I should try it again, but this time I will call it Plan B. We will see how that goes. Yeah. I will start that right . . . . . . NoW!

I want to lose weight.

kathryncota — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 02:15:03 +0000

I spent the whole morning reading about celebrities. I am not one to be up on the latest gossip, but I feel very petty today. I wanted to read about Katie and Tom’s alleged divorce. That is about as truthful as the divorce that Brad and Angelina were supposed to have. Anyway, I got nothing done.

I do want to lose weight. This is very important. How can I be bitchy and take over the world if I am overweight. It will not be as an impressive image of power if I am sporting a muffin top over the edge of my jeans, which are a size 10 to begin with. I am not dead yet. I am sorry but I just feel better about myself when I can wear anything that I want and have it look good.

I just want to know . . .

kathryncota — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:47:43 +0000

whatever happened to “The Human League”

I want to move

kathryncota — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:30:20 +0000

I am in a slump. I need to do something rather then just react to what happens. I need to step up and take action. I need to make things happen. First I want to move out of this apartment.

I feel as if I have lost my way

kathryncota — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:20:10 +0000

I feel sort of far from where I started. I feel as if I am far from my original intention. Is this what I want to be? Is this the woman that I am? Or am I just going through the motions. Of course I am just going through the motions (if I have to ask). I feel off track. I suppose if I slow down for a bit. What ever I am doing that is different from a week ago I need to drop.

I am eating too much right now

kathryncota — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 14:24:29 +0000

I am eating alot because I am not going to class today. And I am eating McD’s which is probably one of the worse things to eat. 2 for $3 sandwiches AND a large parfait. I really need to get my fridge fixed. I craved eggs and toast not mcd’s. Not frozen fruit, but freshly cut fruit. This breakfast blows.

I am a bum.

kathryncota — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 13:23:56 +0000

I have hardly attended any classes this week. I have hardly done any of my reading for my classes. I am just going to play my, “I’m a grown up” card. I am nearly the oldest student at my campus. One of those senior citizens on a college campus living out my dream of being a college graduate.

I get tired of the work though. Then I think of waitressing and know I have to stick with this. I’d rather read articles on irrelevant things then wait on tables. If I blow it it will only take me longer to get out of restaurant work. I am such an idiot I should’ve done this so long ago.

The Shallow Me Me Me Manifesto

kathryncota — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 07:04:05 +0000

The birth of Shallow Me. Shallow me wants to look better then eveyone around. Shallow me wants the hot guy everyone wants. Shallow me wants people to pick sides. Shallow me wants the cool toys first. Shallow picks up habits that I find cool in others. Shallow me is unoriginal. Shallow me is a poser. Shallow me plans ahead and does her homework Shallow me resents. Shallow me follows her pussy. Shallow me tells little lies to others and to me. Shallow me makes excuses. She always has an answer. She never takes responsibility. Shallow me drops the ball when things are not cute and glamourous. Shallow me gets bored with reality.

The sun is rising . . . Argh.

kathryncota — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 12:17:55 +0000

It is already daytime again. I will drink this coffee and jackoff (girly style) and tell myself that I am only going to close my eyes for just a moment. Then I will wake up at 130pm and have to go to work. I hate work. I really do. I do need to read. I am fucking up already. There is no way I will be caught up with my reading my the time I have class.